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Argent Rook

I am a tower. Undaunted. Unwavering. Unbreakable. But the tower does not stand to break others, but to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

Name: Argent Rook

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Coat Color: Dark grey, almost black. Horn is white.

Mane/Tail Color & Style: no mane. Tail is solid white and naturally short. Wears a shemagh around his head when out and about in the day to avoid sunburn and a cloak while traveling to keep warm, as he is quite sensitive to cold.

Eye Color: Amber

Cutie Mark: Silver rook (the chess piece). Represents his ability to make himself unshakeable as a stone tower and his unwavering commitment to the protection of others.

Physique: On the shorter side. Not muscular, but toned. Relies on magic and diplomacy rather than physical prowess to defuse most threats. His lack of mane and his slimmer build give him an almost snake-like profile, especially when his armor spell is activated.

Origin: Born in Trottingham. Spent most of his adult life in Aquellia. Recently returned to Greater Equestria.

Occupation: Doctor. Former bodyguard. Prefers the former to the latter.

Motivation: Become a better doctor. Pay his dues for the death of a friend.

Likes: Reading, magic, medical science, coffee, muffins, strategy games (chess, etc.), hot weather.

Dislikes: Being outsmarted, celery, alcohol, centipedes, cold weather, seeing his friends hurt.

Talents

Arcanometabolism: Strong. His days serving the Razorclaw family saw him experimenting with Arcanometabolism, altering his own body to avoid harm and do his job as a security guard. His signature move is armoring his entire body with magically grown adamantine scales, allowing him to shrug off hits that would kill a lesser pony and sweep intruders off their feet with his increased body mass. Though he used to be able to use the ability at will, recent side effects include insomnia and migraines which increase in intensity the longer he uses the ability without substantial rest. Rook suspects this to be linked to pushing himself past the metabolic "redline" during the Razorclaw incident.

Healing Magic: Strong. Can administer first aid to staunch bleeding, stitch cuts and lacerations together, or clean wounds via magic. Can set broken bones and speed healing, but cannot repair them outright. Magic substitutes for medical imaging instruments as a diagnosis tool. His healing magic is an outgrowth of his original Arcanometabolism ability. Instead of using it to fight by casting the spells on himself, he uses it to heal others.

Character Summary

Originally hailing from Trottingham, Argent Rook has a birth defect that leaves him without a mane. His tail is naturally short, as is his pelt hair. As a result, he takes to hot weather just fine, but absolutely abhors the cold. With no mane, he normally covers his head with a shemagh to keep the sun off.

Rook left Trottingham as a young stallion in search of adventure, testing his wits and his magical might against the best that Equestria had to offer. Eventually, he found himself in the Griffon lands. While the griffon racism precluded him from finding steady work, everywhere he was able to show up his feathered counterparts with his skills earned him fear and respect. This all came to a head when he rescued a member of the Razorclaw family from a mob hit in a bazaar outside Talonopolis.

The griffon returned the favor by finding Rook a job as a security guard, serving the Razorclaw family’s holdings on the outskirts of Talonopolis. Despite their disdain for pony-kind, the Razorclaws saw a time and a place for Rook’s unique talents. They gave him significantly more leeway than griffons would ordinarily give ponies, even allowing him to mingle with the family at certain events. He eventually cultivated a friendship with Alana, a daughter of the Razorclaw family.

One night, while Rook was patrolling the factory grounds, he detected a break-in and rushed to intercept the infiltrator. He tracked down a lone griffon saboteur and engaged in combat, eventually killing his adversary after an extended battle. When he unmasked the Griffon, it was none other than Alana Razorclaw.

The Razorclaw family acknowledged that Alana was a usurper, attempting to discredit the matriarch to seize control of family assets and congratulated Rook on a job well done. Rook, however, was too stricken with grief to care. He quit shortly thereafter and returned to Trottingham. He eked out an existence doing odd jobs there until Dio, an old friend from his Razorclaw days convinced him to come out of his shell once more.

Rook studies medicine as penance for what he has done. Any book on healing lore or medicine that he can get his hands on, Rook devours and any chance he gets to practice his healing spells, he takes. Traveling once more, he has turned his fighting magic into healing magic and refuses to physically harm anypony unless circumstances are truly dire. In spite of his pacifistic tendencies, Rook still retains his keen observational skills and love of strategy games such as Chess, Supremacy, and Risk, though certain sports that require precision such as darts and billiards also catch his eye.

The Spellbook

Combat Spells

Boost: Arcanometabolism. Temporarily speeds up metabolism on a cellular level and dispenses stress hormones for a controlled "adrenaline rush." Dramatically increases strength and endurance for a short time. Can be cast on himself or another pony.

Dragonscale: Arcanometabolism. Grows adamantine scales all over Rook's body. Hooves and horn are armored with a metallic coating. The scales are resistant to impact, extreme temperatures, and edged weapons, though piercing weapons and blunt trauma still have their effects on the rest of his body.

Firewall: Enchantment. A mental firewall of sorts that blocks non-sensory input to his mind. Cuts off telepathy, charm, and other "mind magic" spells.

These three spells are used both singly and in combination to provide the right mix of strength, durability, and agility for the situation at hand. Rook possesses unique talents, but cannot make use of certain aspects of unicorn magic like teleportation. His spells channel the power of the aether directly through his body, which, while giving him access to great power, also puts him at grave risk of physical injury from a malfunctioning spell. Rook limits himself to certain power levels in his head to avoid injury, but can push himself beyond those limits in a dire emergency.

Medical Spells

Triage: Projects a low-powered aetheric field onto the target. Disruptions to the field indicate physical injury. Allows rapid diagnosis of physical injuries.

Vital Burst: Speeds up cellular regeneration rate to patch up damaged tissue.

Ossify: Manipulates and sets a broken bone to heal properly, though it cannot fully regenerate it.

Chelate: Filters out natural toxins in the subject's bloodstream. Less effective against magical toxins.

Stitch: Seals a wound in the same way a surgeon's stitch would.

Staunch: Locally activates clotting factors to stop bleeding.

Scalpel: A blade-like shard of aether that is used to cut through tissue during an operation. Can also be weaponized, but Rook is loathe to do so.

Skills

Melee combat: Rook is more physical than the average unicorn, a result of years traveling through the Griffon lands and escorting members of the Razorclaw family. He can't teleport and can't use telekinesis in combat, but he can still bash and stab with the best of them. Since the Razorclaw incident, Rook is reluctant to fight, and even when he does prefers nonlethal solutions.

Triage: Rook can administer first aid as well as diagnose and treat minor injuries and diseases without the use of magic.

Academic Knowledge: Rook is a scholar at heart and is well read in general science, medicine, and griffon politics.

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I'd add his name (Or potential name) to the top of this WIP so that it's visible. I didn't realize he had a potential name until I got down to the summary. Quantum is a nifty name, and I get the vision of Quantum Entanglement that allows him to achieve teleportation as smoothly as he does, but this makes me wonder a bit. What are his limits? How far can he teleport? Keep in mind, established in canon, unicorns can only 'wink' or teleport so far, and through certain conditions. Usually only a few hundred yards at the most.

I think I like Rook as a name better than Quantum, however. It makes me think of the castle from Chess, who can move pretty much anywhere within the confines of the board, but always in a straight and unimpeded line. I like that you mentioned he was bald, this is definitely a feature a bouncer would likely have, I bet. Maybe he could be stockier, if smaller. I picture a bouncer as being somepony who doesn't budge (like a rook) but doesn't have much offensive power but sure can move when he needs to.

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Thanks for looking it over.

His affinity for teleportation was why I initially wanted to go with the name "Quantum," although the analogy for board control by the rook didn't strike me until you mentioned it. I'm envisioning his teleportation limits to be a function of distance; the farther the teleport distance, the less accurately the teleport can be placed and the more tiring it is to do so. So on the sliding scale of example, teleporting across the room to break up a fight would be almost effortless, but teleporting all the way across the town of Bareback Gulch would be a major undertaking, not to mention a very risky endeavor.

Teleportation is ordinarily a line of sight affair, but in a pinch, he can teleport to a location within the local space that he's familiar with, like blinking between the upper and lower floors of the saloon, or blinking through to the other side of a door. Of course, this has its risks since he doesn't know what's on the other side.

Let me get one thing straight, he's not "more powerful" than Twilight, who has shown that she is an exceptional magic user. But teleportation, telekinetics, and psychometabolism are Quantum's specialties; the talent and skills he has in those fields are balanced by the fact that he's not too great at other types of magic. Whereas Twilight is a generalist, Quantum is very much a specialist.

I'll take your physical suggestions into consideration, especially considering I want to add psychometabolism (the ability to alter his body or those of others with his powers) to his short list of powers. This stems from studying to be a doctor; in the absence of hands and dedicated pharmacy practices, he learned to heal with magic. By extension, this includes performance enhancements like minor boosts to endurance or strength or toughening the skin to better withstand a blow or fall.

Updates to follow.

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Revised a little, updated with final name. Consider this my application. I figured if I didn't draw the line somewhere, I'd never be able to get him into the RP!

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I like where this character is headed, the only real concern I have is that his powers might seem a bit too powerful and overdriven, even for a pony supposedly as potentially powerful in magic as Twilight. As I'd mentioned before, in canon, ponies can only teleport or *wink* so far and as far as it's been established, it -has- to be line of sight. I'd grant him the ability to travel quite a bit further, but perhaps limit to only as far as he can see, and never through any objects, so as far as he's concerned, if he can't see it, he can't go there. Teleportation of others would be perfectly fine to add, even though so far Twilight's the only one I know of that -has- teleported another in addition to herself, so I'll accept that as canon as well, but under the same rules and of course, should express more strain on his character. He needs some sort of flaw, like only being able to teleport so many times per day before he needs rest or risk going comatose or even death. Even the chessboard rook can only move as far as the sides of the board, and only if nothing is in its way. The medical aspect is okay, but I think he needs a few limits as well, such as he can't directly heal serious injuries, but possibly can influence them to heal faster, or maybe lessen the pain in his presence while dressing them or something like that. The problem with his overachieved powers is he seems to be a bit too Marysue. Consider reining in these a bit. Otherwise, I like his summary, he could be a lot of fun.

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Additional tweaks, put down some hard numbers for his spells. Limited teleport to line of sight. Limited telekinesis to extreme exertion level. Limited psychometabolism to first aid and the occasional emergency.

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The hard numbers are appreciated, though that wasn't quite what I was going for. Though I think he's much more reasonable, I'm not really certain on this character just yet, though I'm not sure if I can make any more suggestions at this point. But perhaps you could ask Ashi how she feels about him and get her ideas on it at some point? Otherwise, I like how much detail you've gone into with this character and I could see some significant potential with him.

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I think you need to just pick one power and stick with it. Right now he has a handful of things he can do magically. And according to the show only Unicorns who's talent is magic can use various types. Right now, even with the note of how the magic wears him down, he still reads as really powerful. I don't really see how these powers are suppose to be useful for being a doctor either.

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It's kind of difficult for me to get out of the tactical mindset of Dungeons and Dragons, so forgive me if I'm a little bit trigger-happy with my creations. I originally envisioned Rook specifically as a bouncer for Bareback Gulch, but that seems to be directly conflicting with what the character evolved into as a wrote him. I want to keep his history working for a Griffon family, where he picked up his observation skills and the "offensive" spell variants. I'm retuning to better mesh with the social aspect of the RP.

As I said before, the intent was to have a former security guard who made a terrible mistake and is trying to make up for it any way he can. I've trimmed the character substantially, making psychometabolism his primary talent, though he can still do the normal unicorn stuff like moving small objects with telekinesis and lighting up his horn to provide illumination.

Psychometabolism involves altering the body using mind and magic, be it to close wounds or enhance his own physical abilities. Of course, the ability comes at a price. Making the body rapidly grow and ungrow in ways it shouldn't is disruptive to his physiology, so he prefers not to use his power offensively. Healing is different, as it is slower and generally takes place under more controlled circumstances. See the 'talent' description for further details.

Perhaps Rook would do better as an itinerant doctor than hard security for the Rhinestone Quarry. Sterling and her crew seem to have that place on lockdown. If you want, I can place the WIP tag back in the title.

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As you mentioned in a way Diomedes, this character's magical abilities are very refined, almost to a D&D mindset or type of style where they specialize in 'healing' magic. There is a huge problem I see with this though- there is no evidence of healing magic in the series, and rather, there is counter evidence to it.

Twilight cannot cure illness nor even simple ailments that befall other ponies (poison joke, bad muffins, etc), They also fear injury and death when Twilight would fall of the cliff if not for AJ, AJ saving the other ponies from falling boulders, or running from the hydra.

I like the idea of a pony that uses magic to help heal- and a pony that uses magic to make precision weave by manipulating thread or knife in very subtle- important ways is much more balanced and in line with the show, than a pony who can alter their DNA to create armor, or literally use magic to regrow tissue. That is too much a battle/fighting mindset, and not an Equestria pony mindset.

Granted Faust claims that flowers grow faster/better when earth ponies tend to them- so maybe patients can heal quicker (but naturally) when a nurse/doctor pony is nearby, but just the sheer ability to control these things is too marysue for this RP, even if they seem basic in a complex system like D&D where magic of that level is necessary.

I'd just like to ask you to reconsider how you define healing magic- as right now it seems like something not even Celestia or Luna could perform. While doctor and nurse ponies may exist, it would seem wrong to introduce a pony who can literally keep other ponies from dying or being grievously wounded by using their magic.

Ex. Rarity uses her magic to aid her in the creation of dresses- she doesnt materialize gems, or material, or even whole dresses. She has to work at it. The same should apply for your healing pony- sure magic helps, and maybe patients do a little bit better in his presence than in the presence of others, but magic is only a tool they can use to help perform their craft- it shouldnt be one with the craft itself.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Added additional information on healing spells and clarified the meaning of his cutie mark.

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