dashie900 Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) Roleplay type: World of Equestria RP Name: PesadillaSex: MaleAge: StallionSpecies: UnicornEye color: Dark, almost blackCoat color: Dark, almost blackMane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: DarkPhysique: TallCutie Mark: MoonOrigin/Residence: Fillydelphia Occupation: Skulking around at nightMotivation: Pesadilla always looks for the moon and sits under it, looking for trouble, or indeed, making it.Likes: The moonDislikes: The sunCharacter Summary: He loves the moon and is fascinated by it. If he's in a bad mood on a full moon, he will most likely cause a lot of trouble in Fillydelphia, or sometimes, the whole of Equestria. He has tried on numerous occasions to make friends with the other ponies but they have heard of his tendency to wreak havoc at night. History: His parents abandoned him when he was little and when he became a Colt, he rebelled against everypony.Family: His father called Jarvis and his mother called Leah, left him when he was young.Cutie Mark story: He became fascinated by the moon and the night sky, but mostly the moon, from being a Colt, and as he grew up he became for intrigued. One day he was out at night studying the night sky, when the moon seemed brighter than usual, a comet that he had not recorded suddenly flew by and he went to write it down but he suddenly realized that this comet was special. Lo and behold, he got his cutie mark, a moon.Flaws: He doesn't have any friends to help him along in life, and his ultimate goal is to find some, despite his full moon rage.Personality: He's quite a trouble maker, although in the day when he is asleep, not quite so much. At night, he tends to look for trouble whilst milling about under the moonlight. Other ponies find it difficult to be friends with him when he is constantly causing trouble and being nocturnal. Edited July 24, 2012 by dashie900 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Dashie900, I noticed you have two current apps that are marked as FINAL, this one and Jupiter.Rules of this website permit each user to have one app marked FINAL and one app marked WIP (work in progress) at any given time.So I am asking you to please move one of your current apps (this one or Jupiter) to WIP status so that RP Helper Staff can evaluate them one at a time, ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashie900 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Ok this one's final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Very good! Now I can evaluate this one for you!Well, you have a good start here. I think I know what you've going for with this particular character.But I do have a number of things to bring to your attention.First of all, the Character Summary is very brief. Could you expand it further? Second, could you expand on the Cutie Mark story a bit further? A detailed description of the moment he got the mark would be very helpful in relating his personality to others.Third, I'm a little confused on the personality section. So, he's nocturnal, sleeps during the day (though he's nice) and then becomes 'darker' at night? Are you saying he has a dual personality? Not quite clear here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashie900 Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Hey I've expanded on the things you asked about, and changed the Personality section in the hope it's easier to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Ok, thank you for your quick response!May I suggest adding a little more to the cutie mark story, say it was a special night that he was watching the moon, perhaps it was a rare time it was lined up with other planets or a bright comet flew by the bright moon, something like that. A colt or filly gets their cutie mark at a time of realization, or as I like to call those, a 'light bulb' moment (as in old time cartoons when a character gets a great idea). I know where you want to go with this cutie mark story, but it just needs that little added UMPH to it, if you know what I mean. Now pertaining to the split personality thing, I had to consult with Senior RP staff on this. Split personality ponies are not permitted in Mane RP. They suggest that if you want this pony to be a sort of night time 'troublemaker', that you simply say something to the effect that he is mild mannered during the day, but likes to do mischief at night because of the cover of darkness. It doesn't have to be a personality trait that makes him different at night, just a conscious decision instead.Hope these suggestions are helpful to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashie900 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Hey again ^^ I've changed the Cutie Mark story and Personality.I hope it's right this time o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Well done!I will recommenmd this app to Senior RP Staff to move it along in the approval process! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashie900 Posted July 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashie900 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 YAY! Thank youu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts