Gaedwyn Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Role play type: Equestria RPName: PageSex: MaleAge: StallionSpecies: UnicornEye color: Greenish BlueMane/Tail Markings Color and Style: He has a short Purple and Black mane along with a shaggy tail of the same colorPhysique: He is skinny, and a bit taller then an average stallionCutie Mark: A brown, leather bound book, with a golden pentagon on the front of itorigin/Residence: Page was born in Canterlot, and hasn't found the need to move.Occupation: He is the Librarian of the very same library that he got his cutie mark from, He is chiefly interested in books that will help him learn more spells, and typically expand his knowledge of the world around him.Motivation: He feels that he owes it to his father to keep the library up and running, so that's what he does!Character Summary: History: Page spent all his time in his Dad's library, And thus, he isolated himself from the rest of the world. At school, he wasn't discriminated against, or teased, instead, other ponies just didn't reach out to him. So, as a result, he spent all of his time maintaining the library with his father. By day they ran the library,and by night they made book forts and shared stories of ponies coming into the library with no intention of borrowing a book. So it was only natural that when he was old enough, Page would take over the Library.Parents: His Parents are both alive and love him very much, his father being the librarian at the library that Blue moon often attended.Cutie mark story: Growing up,he spent most of his time in one of the many libraries that dotted Canterlot, and one day, after reading the very last book the old shelves housed, his cutie mark appeared!Flaws: He has always regretted being hostile to almost everyone he met in his younger years, its not that he was just being rude for the sake of it, but he doesn't know how to react to other ponies. So he always came off as being a bit rude, evan though he didn't mean too.Personality: Page is quiet and bookish, and will often lose himself in thought, he is a little bit shy, and is often thinking of ways to improve his magical capabilities. When it comes to friends, He looks for people that have the same passion for books that he does. Although his efforts are often Fruitless, as a result, his current friends are... Well, lets just say there not the brightest pennies in the fountain.Likes: -Spending time in his library with his pet owl Riven-Popping out for a cup of tea regularly-Reading-Meeting ponies who can count higher then 10Dislikes: -Loud, Obnoxious ponies-Humid weather-The Typically Snobby ponies of Canterlot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RarityDash Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Hello there. This app is straightforward and kind of thin, but it contains most of the pertinent information. Still, it could see some improvements.To start, the formatting is different from what we typically expect to see with applications. There should be no colors anywhere in the text of the application. The fields, where it says "Name", "Age", etc. should be in bold, but the rest of the application should not. As for content, I kind of actually rather like the idea of magical target shooting as a sport for unicorns. I think that works fine. You could tell us a little more about it though? Is this a popular sport around Canterlot? Is it something he could do professionally at some point, and if so would he want to?One thing that I'm mildly concerned about is the cutie mark. Crosshairs are kind of a associated with firearms, and I'm going to assume firearm related symbols are a big no in our Mane RP. Even if he uses magic for his target shooting, and even if it's for hitting targets and never hurting anypony, it's still seems like something we may want you to avoid. I'd suggest changing his cutie mark to something else. A target or a bolt of magic maybe? Also, as I said before, the application as a whole seems just a little light. Perhaps you could add a little more detail to some of the sections or expand on his story maybe? What was it like for him at the orphanage? Does he have any curiosities about who his parents are and why they gave him up? Furthermore, if his special talent is for shooting, why did he decided to become a librarian instead of pursuing sharpshooting fully? Did he lack confidence to do it full time, not want attention, or was it just a case of him having two passions, books and shooting and wanting to pursue them equal? Also, maybe you could add a little more about his personality. We don't ask you answer every possible question, but we do like to get a good sense of who the pony is from the app.All that said, you're well on the right track, and this app should make it through no problem, I'd imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Hi there! I'm going to be your Helpstaff, as Phil is getting his mane brushed.My thoughts echo his, exactly: this application will need more fleshing out and detail before we'll be ready to finalize this character for play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 Any progress? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 Not at the moment. (I have a small life outside of ponies, only a little one, but still) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted August 15, 2012 Report Share Posted August 15, 2012 Any progress now? I'd love to see this application finished; this character sounds interesting to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted August 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 I apologize, but (For the first time in my life) My mind is Baron of ideas! D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted August 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2012 Well, i sat at my computer and banged my head against the desk for 3 hours straight, but I've done it, for me, its finished and awaiting your judgement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted August 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 The final tweaks are done now, let me know if there are any problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted August 18, 2012 Report Share Posted August 18, 2012 Looking better, except you missed removing orphanage stuff from his flaws. (It made for quite funny reading, though!)Doesn't this application feel a little bare to you? You want your character to have depth. As we discussed earlier, it's tricky to find a balance between giving good, solid information about a character without taking it too far. I think you've got a solid basis for a character here, but I need to see more about his personality. Does he have likes or dislikes? Aspirations? Does he do anything outside the library? Does he have a pet? Little details like that will not only make your character more fun to play with, but will give you more tools and options to roleplay with.There's no rush. I suggest you mull on your character for a little while and try to snag inspiration out of the ether. It's all around you if you seek it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted August 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2012 OK, once again, I have done more work on it and it is awaitring your judgement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RarityDash Posted August 19, 2012 Report Share Posted August 19, 2012 I think this looks good enough... so: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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