Gaedwyn Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 yeah, it is, so by all means delete it! (and thanks for the info ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imagination Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 I see you added some stuff, which is good, but I'm still not seeing anything in regards to a cutie mark story. I saw that she got it after making her first working potion, but that's it. What kind of potion was it? What were the circumstances of her wanting to make it? How did it effect those around her? Tell the story of her special talent! When you do that, I'll gladly stamp this! Seems like a very interesting character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 there, done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2012 Thanks very much!, just gotta tweak a few little things... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dio Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hi, just a couple things I'd like to address.Firstly, what exactly does Gaedwyn mean? As a general rule, pony names have to do with concepts (like Virtue or Rarity) or things (like Sigil or Applejack). They do not use human names like George or Martha.Secondly, her cutie mark could use some substantial clarification. What exactly is the symbol? You never explicitly mention what they symbol looks like in your application. Also, as a rule of thumb, symbolic cutie marks are preferred over abstract ones.Thirdly, is there more to her personality? Are there other quirks and traits that she has other than her problems with trust? As it stands, it is a bit on the thin side and could use some additional fleshing out.Please take a look at these and get back to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Ok, I went over those things, hopefully its a pass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 I Changed her name to Skyra.I added to her personalityAnd I have described what her cutie mark looks like and what it means Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dio Posted April 18, 2012 Report Share Posted April 18, 2012 For personality, I'm looking more for traits that define her as an individual. Your description merely added another hobby without expounding further on what she's like as an individual. Is she eccentric and bubbly? Is she nerdy and shy? Is she quiet and bookish? Is she a know-it-all loudmouth?These core character traits define how you will interact with other players when you play her, so it is very important to have a game plan in mind when you develop a character's personality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2012 ok, thanks for the feedback i'll add more to the personality and get back to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaedwyn Posted April 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2012 ok, i finished the additions to Skyra's personality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dio Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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